South Carolina: The Aloha State

On Thursday's "Colbert Report," Stephen laid the smack down on Georgia's sham claim to the Peach State title. Here's the transcript, and the video's available here (tirade begins at about 1:40).

For me, Peach Month is just thirty days of simmering resentment because of the fraud being perpetrated by the state of Georgia when it calls itself "The Peach State." Georgia is not The Peach State. Do this for me: Drive south on I-95. When you're going through my home state, South Carolina, you'll see sign after sign reading "Peaches and Fireworks" (a great combination, by the way).

And when you get to Gaffney, South Carolina, you'll see the famous peach-shaped water tower. You'll have to look carefully because you can just barely make it out over the 18,000 acres of peach trees. And what do you see when you get to Georgia? I mean, besides Michael Stipe jumping around in a pro-choice t-shirt? Not peaches baby. Maybe some peanuts and a bottle of Coke. Whoop-de-doo. Try making cobbler out of that.

South Carolina kicks Georgia's ass! It produces two hundred million peaches a year! And these peaches are delicious. But don't take my word for it. Take the South Carolina Department of Agriculture's. They say, and I quote, "The sugar level is superb." They got no reason to lie. So Georgia, tell you what, why don't you figure out what you're "superb" at and make that your state nickname. How about "The Burned to the Ground by Sherman State."

Even in lower school in North Carolina, I learned that Georgia's claim to the Peach State title was bogus. But I guess they gotta have something to cling to so they can market themselves.

Now, if anyone from Ohio wants to talk about the whole "First in Flight" North Carolina thing, bring it on.